| 10 december 1998 |
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December 10th, 2009 16:51
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A year ago, I never would have imagined I would be where I am today. It's interesting to consider how different my situation would be if I had made different choices. I suppose it's useless to think of how I would do things differently, however, because it's impossible. One can't go to the past and makes changes. The only accessible periods of time are the present and the future. Of course, one can dwell in the past, but I suppose it's healthier to accept things for what they are. This is easier said than done, unfortunately.
I'm grateful to everyone who helped me see reason over the school year, because I do know now that I was unreasonable and, while it does make me somewhat uncomfortable to admit that, I'm not ashamed to say that I was. But furthermore, I'm grateful to everyone who was willing to give me a chance after the fact. I didn't deserve it, but you gave it to me regardless. So, thank you.
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| 1 december 1998 |
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December 2nd, 2009 0:07
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WARDED TO SASHA ROPER.How was your film?
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| 30 november 1998 |
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November 30th, 2009 3:46
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WARDED TO SEAMUS FINNIGAN.Well?
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| 20 november 1998 |
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November 20th, 2009 22:20
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WARDED TO RITCHIE COOTE.Hello. I was wonder how you are doing.
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| 7 november 1998 |
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November 7th, 2009 2:48
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WARDED TO MICHAEL CORNER.I cannot decide whether Wayne Hopkins is simply a jerk or if he's something much worse. I'm so insulted! It doesn't matter whether he intended to ward his entry or not. Does he not realise how important that was to some of us? This was the first time in my entire life that my whole family has gathered for my benefit. Now all I can think about is how angry I am. My mother even hugged me and that rarely happens!
I'm still honoured by the award, of course, and pleased that my family put forth the effort to acknowledge my existence as something beyond whatever it is that I am to them. But it's been tainted. I'm feeling very sorry for myself at the moment and I resent him for being the reason I feel this way.
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| 4 november 1998 |
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November 4th, 2009 17:12
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WARDED TO SEAMUS FINNIGAN & SASHA ROPER.If Ritchie were to ask either of you for your assistance, you would help, wouldn't you? I may have volunteered both of your names to him without asking either of you first, which I apologise for. But I'm concerned for him and I had a feeling both of you would be concerned for him as well. He isn't taking Andrew's passing very well and after everything that happened in September I believe we have good reason to worry. Not that there is a well way of taking someone's passing, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I've told him to come to one of us if it becomes too much, but beyond that I'm not exactly certain what should be done or what should be said.
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| 4 november 1998 |
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November 4th, 2009 17:12
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WARDED TO GEORGE WEASLEY.I understand that I may be asking a bit much of you, as we don't know one another particularly well nor have we gotten along particularly well in the past either, but I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't feel it was important. I have a question to ask you and I would appreciate if the fact that I am asking this question at all would remain between the two of us, at least for the time being. May I have your word? I can assure you that, though still important, this isn't nearly so ominous as it sounds. I just feel that I need to tread carefully.
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| 30 october 1998 |
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October 30th, 2009 15:43
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WARDED TO MICHAEL CORNER.I've attempted to stay out of this thus far, but I'm genuinely concerned now. What exactly is going on with Padma?
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| 25 october 1998 |
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October 25th, 2009 18:45
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WARDED TO GRYFFINDORS.There was an article in the Daily Prophet this morning pertaining to the matter, but for those of you who have not already heard I feel you deserve to know. Yesterday evening, Andrew and the girl he was staying with were attacked and murdered in her home. Andrew was certainly an unconventional prefect to say the least, but he was a good person and one who did not deserve the end he met. I have no doubt that he will be sorely missed by us all.
That said, I know first-hand how difficult it is to lose someone that you care about. If for any reason you require my assistance, even if it's only for my ability to listen, my door is always open. Please feel free to take advantage of it.
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| 22 october 1998 |
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October 22nd, 2009 15:27
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WARDED TO MICHAEL CORNER.People keep asking me how I am or how I'm feeling, which I suppose is kind of them and I am grateful because I honestly didn't expect my well-being to be such a concern, but I don't know how I'm meant to answer them. I suppose I could continue on telling people that I'm fine, but I don't know that I want to. I'm not fine. I'm frustrated and miserable, but actually saying so is intimidating.
I would like to apologise for my behaviour as of late. I really am sorry. I haven't felt like myself. I don't know who the person you've been dealing with is, but it certainly isn't me. I genuninely do appreciate everything you've done for me, though. And I love you, even if I've done a poor job of showing it. I hope I haven't caused you to doubt that.
Perhaps I've been possessed?
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| 21 october 1998 |
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October 21st, 2009 0:49
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WARDED TO MICHAEL CORNER.I've locked you out. I hope you're pleased and that the sofa is comfortable tonight, because I have my wand back.
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| 15 october 1998 |
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October 15th, 2009 19:25
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WARDED TO THE MWP.I've been encouraged several times to share what happened to me the night of the auction and because I don't want to hear it anymore I've decided I will explain. Please bear in mind that I'm not interested in discussing it and this is not an invitation to do so. This is only an explanation. Nothing more.
That said, my leg was amputated last Wednesday and this is why I haven't returned to work. I hope that is a satisfactory explanation.
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| 15 october 1998 |
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October 15th, 2009 3:19
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WARDED TO MILLICENT BULSTRODE.I never took you for a coward. Is there a reason why you can't face the people whose lives you've played a role in ruining? I haven't forgotten what you've done. I doubt anyone else has either.
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| 13 october 1998 |
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October 13th, 2009 2:54
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WARDED PRIVATE.I don't really feel like myself any longer. Even less so than I did before, but at least then I didn't feel so lost. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do about this, though. It isn't as though I can go backwards. Too much has changed and I wouldn't want to be who I was a year ago anyway. But I would like to be something again. Why do I feel gone? Is it because I can't stand on my own two feet anymore? I was fitted for a prosthetic already, but it will never be anything more than a fake leg. It won't be my leg. Not truly.
What if I made the wrong decision? What if I gave up too quickly? What if I should have had more faith in myself? I have an awful lot of questions that I don't know the answer to. There's no book on what could have happened. I doubt even Hermione Granger has the answers. It isn't fair. I haven't even been nineteen for a month yet and I'm no longer self-sufficient. I shouldn't be falling apart already. None of us should.
I don't know what to do.
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| 10 october 1998 |
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October 10th, 2009 3:01
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I wonder what could drive a person to suddenly decide that it's acceptable to condone and take part in the assault, maiming, and murder of a group of people that they have known for roughly six to seven years. Millicent? Perhaps you could enlighten me.
For purely biased reasons, I was always willing to excuse former Inquisitorial Squad members because the Carrows were a rather intimidating pair. That's an understatement, of course, but I'm sure you understand what I mean by that. But the Death Eaters are in hiding from what I understand. The only time I have ever come across them is when they invade events and businesses where they clearly aren't wanted. They are pathetic thieves and murderers. So I have to wonder, Millicent, did you know what was going to happen? Did you willingly lead Cicely Cooper to her death? And if so, how are you able to live with yourself? Have you attempted to rationalise in a way that it isn't your fault? Because I can assure you that, if you knew it was going to happen, it most certainly is your fault. Perhaps not the entirety of it, but partial responsibility lies on your head.
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| 9 october 1998 |
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October 9th, 2009 13:49
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WARDED TO THE MWP MINUS MILLICENT.I'm home now. However, I won't be returning to work for a while.
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| 6 october 1998 |
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October 6th, 2009 23:27
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WARDED TO MICHAEL CORNER.Michael?
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| 5 october 1998 |
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October 5th, 2009 18:12
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Hello. I've been preoccupied. I am here, though.
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| 30 september 1998 |
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September 30th, 2009 19:32
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WARDED TO MICHAEL CORNER.For the record, I hope you aren't planning on bringing a riding crop with you the night of the auction or allowing your raw animal magnetism to entice anyone.
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